Meditation for Caregivers: Finding Strength & Support by Going Inward
Caregiving is a difficult journey. And it seems that no matter what we do, we often feel helpless with all we can't do or control.
As a caregiver, we often ask ourselves, Why? Why me? Why now? Why is this happening to my loved one? How will I survive this? Why can't I do more to control this? Why do I feel so helpless? When will this be over? The pain and suffering can feel overwhelming.
Caregiving is humbling. We don't have all the answers. There is so much we don't understand. And we're often driven to and from by what others recommend, what we expect, what we've read, what we've seen, and what's been promoted to us. Fear and doubt take over. We lose sight of ourselves.
However, there is a way to find peace with ourselves in this journey.
Meditation is the way in which we come to feel our basic inseparability from the whole universe. Alan Watts
As I mentioned in My Story and other blog posts, I found a teacher and teaching that helped me during my caregiving journey. Every day I prayed, meditated, and reflected upon what I was learning and how I could apply it to my caregiving journey.
I discovered that the purpose of meditation is to connect with yourself. The Self with a capital S. A connection with God, Consciousness, Higher Power, Brahman, or any representation of Soul that you revere.
Meditation is a constant practice, the calm, diligent, repeated practice of dropping unwanted or circling thoughts so that you can reflect on or contemplate something that brings you a deeper connection with something Divine.
Strengthening this connection brings contentment, courage, and awareness that you're not alone. It helps you surrender to what is out of your control and find a more profound love for yourself and the person in your care.
Meditation highlights one's inseparable connection with the total, Īśvara. Through various steps, one is brought to be one's own self, recognizing all the way the presence of the whole at every level of oneself. Swami Dayananda Saraswati
Meditation is an inward journey. It is a conscious decision to find relief, freedom, joy, and contentment in the face of an unhappy situation. It is a willingness to acknowledge that there is more to life than what you can recognize with your senses alone.
Many claims, books, practices, and websites talk about what meditation and mindfulness can do for you. And since we live in a very secular culture, most of those claims revolve around physical relief, quietness, and being present. And there is nothing wrong with any of that.
But the heart of any inner journey is to uncover Love, Love for yourself, those around you, and your journey this lifetime.
When I was a caregiver, the trip inward was difficult at first. My life was only about what I did at work and as a caregiver. I felt small and alone facing the travails of my wife's journey through Alzheimer's.
As I grew to know mySelf better, as I uncovered a deeper connection with mySelf, reflected on the role of caregiver, and surrendered to what was in front of me, I no longer felt small or alone, or overwhelmed. I could walk into the memory care facility where I had placed my wife and embrace every resident, aide, family caregiver, and nurse as members of my extended family.
I accepted the inevitability of my wife's death. I no longer treated her as a patient but found how to love her as my wife again. My fears and doubts dropped away.
Now with every visit, I could bring a fuller, happier, more content Tony than ever before.
Caregiving became an exploration of life, reality, the cosmos, God, my emotions, beliefs, and attitudes.
I stopped trying to control what was out of my control. I surrendered to what my journey presented to me. I found more gratitude and peace.
Meditation is no panacea, but it can be a tool in the caregiver's arsenal. How you practice, where you practice, the technique you use may not matter as long as the practice encourages your connection to a Higher Power, a Limitless Source, your Divine Self, Consciousness, God, Brahman, Buddha, or the God of your choosing. Ultimately, it is a connection to yourSelf.
Meditation is basic spiritual practice for quieting the mind and getting in touch with our deeper Self, the spirit. Meditation provides a deeper appreciation of the interrelatedness of all things and the part each person plays.
The simple rules of this game are honesty with yourself about where you are in your life and learning and listening to hear how it is. Meditation is a way of listening more deeply, so you hear how it all is from a more profound place. Meditation enhances your insight, reveals your true nature, and brings you inner peace. Ram Dass
If you’re a caregiver having difficulty in this role, feeling alone, frustrated and tired with no peers to share your experiences, on a rollercoaster ride of doctor calls and appointments, bouncing between good news and bad news, having more questions than answers, suffering as you’ve seen others suffer, having tried what everyone has said to try but to no avail, then you may be ready for a fundamentally different approach.
